Alkahest my heroes have always died at the end

July 23, 2007

Too much to do, not enough time or motivation

Filed under: Personal — cec @ 3:24 pm

I’ve got about three weeks to go. Unfortunately, my list of projects or things to get done seems to be growing longer, not shorter and I’m losing my motivation :-/

I think the hardest thing about leaving is resisting the urge to tell people the truth about what I think of their ideas, or their meetings, or the organization in general. Resisting that urge gets harder every day, even though I know that it would be entirely pointless. It might make me feel better to vent for a bit, but what would it accomplish? I would aggravate some people off, burn some bridges and no one would actually listen to what I was saying – no matter how well reasoned or explained.

I guess I’ve always wanted to do the whole “speak truth to power” thing. But in the end, speaking truth to power is vanity. Power is seldom interested in hearing truth. It is only interested in hearing statements supporting its ideas and positions. So, you wind up irritating a lot of people and nothing changes. Not exactly a win for anyone.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying I think it will be different or better elsewhere – this feels like a universal condition. I’m just justifying to myself why I haven’t called anyone out for idiocy.

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